I think I’ve reverse-engineered the recipe for this music video and its intro:
DJ Khaled has T-Pain build a time machine for him (T-Pain is a “magic science robot,” after all), and goes back in time to when he was 9. Some advanced mechanism in the machine enables Khaled to subvert the Novikov self-consistency principle and interact normally with his younger self. He then uses the 75 pounds of marijuana that the same mechanism allowed him to bring back in time, sharing it with Child Khaled and brainstorming with him in order to conceive the idea for a music video that contains “everything that is super awesome.” This accounts for the seemingly context-less “cool catchphrase,” the MacGuffin briefcase, the jump through the plate-glass window, and the ethnically ambiguous Asian crime syndicate, as well as the fact that none of the escape vehicles actually seem to have any place to go except to the next, more extravagant mode of transportation.
Apparently, their plans to include a dinosaur in the video fell through, but they made up for it with all of the CGI explosions in “Out Here Grindin’.”
- I'm going to steal the Declaration of Independence.
I’m going to steal the Declaration of Independence.
- Old People.Status (from teenager/young adult):I just had a sandwich. It was delicious.Comment (from relative over the age of 40):Hello Jim! I hope you're doing fantastic down where you are. I was just looking through some old pictures of you as a child and realized just how precious you were. LOL! When are you coming back up to visit? Your Uncle Jeff and I can't wait to see you again. We've got plenty of chores for you to do up here to help around the house. LOL! Just kidding Jim! How's your mother? I hope you're helping her out and being a good kid! But I have nothing to worry about, you're always a great kid! LOL! Hope all is well.