When I was in high school, my family hosted a German exchange student. He enjoyed most aspects of his stay, but his two favorite things about the U.S. were the food and the cartoon characters, many of which apparently have a much larger following in Germany. He was also given to catchphrases of a certain sort.
They would sometimes be taken from films, but far more often were adaptations of things we foreigners had said that seemed relatively innocuous to us at the time. He would repeat them over and over, in a comically exaggerated tone, until we began to use them as well.
"Pancakes with Garfield" was one of them.
You see, one day, on our way to school, he spotted a sign that had ostensibly been posted by a local chapter of the Boy Scouts or some similar organization.
It advertised a pancake breakfast, and featured a large picture of Garfield with an improbably smug expression wrapped tightly around the front of his head. The combination must have confused him to some extent, because he brought it to my attention.
"Why does Garfield promote pancakes?" he asked, with a curious look in his eyes.
I made some attempt to put the words together in my head, but was unable to articulate exactly why this mascot had been chosen. It was too early in the morning for a good explanation.
He tried a different approach.
"Will there be pancakes with Garfield?"
“Pancakes? With Garfield?”
The car fell silent for a brief period of time.
It must have been about two seconds.
After that, we both burst out laughing.
I miss that guy.
Solution to both morning fatigue and breakfast reluctance: Put on Curren$y’s Pilot Talk 2, (the otherwise preferable Weekend At Burnie’s is more of an evening album), and put some time into cooking quality edibles. It’s a good way to set a foundation for a balanced day, since the process itself is both laid-back and productive.
Here’s what I went with today. Emulate if you see fit. If not, then hopefully you’re like me and enjoy reading about food regardless of intention.
Cook some pasta. Angel hair or spaghetti is best for breakfast use.
When the pasta is cooked and drained, set it aside.
Heat a decent amount of butter or olive oil in a skillet or shallow pan over medium heat.
Obtain some frozen peas, and place them in the pan. No precise measurements, just use whatever seems right. Maybe a tiny bit more.
When the peas have been sufficiently heated and you begin to sense that the pan has become accustomed to their presence, introduce a bit of whichever high-quality vodka sauce you may happen to have around the house. It should be added gradually, with an emphasis on even distribution.
Allow the two elements to mingle, stirring as needed, until a common temperature is achieved.
Using an appropriate implement, coax a serving of pasta from its temporary habitat and acquaint it with the sauce and peas. Move the elements around within the pan as needed, making sure to coat each strand with the heated mixture. This step is important, as it is not only the stage at which you will find that you now have “pasta and sauce,” but also the one which allows a subtle caramelization to occur within the dish.
Find a pasta plate, and determine whether you can use it for your own purposes. Do not take a pasta plate from which someone else has already begun to eat. It should be your own, and it should be made of white china if at all possible.
Taking care not to spill any pasta or sauce along the lip of the plate, place your handiwork in the center. It should be arranged gently, and while a small spherical shape is more desired, do not feel that you need to go out of your way to sculpt or manipulate what you have. That being said, presentation ought to remain an important consideration even when cooking only for oneself.
It is at this point that the meal is ready to be eaten.
Someday, these will be my cold-pizza-for-breakfast-while-watching-back-episodes-of-Parks-and-Recreation clothes.
Also, I’d like to see that type of collar on a standard shirt.
- I'm going to steal the Declaration of Independence.
I’m going to steal the Declaration of Independence.
- Old People.Status (from teenager/young adult):I just had a sandwich. It was delicious.Comment (from relative over the age of 40):Hello Jim! I hope you're doing fantastic down where you are. I was just looking through some old pictures of you as a child and realized just how precious you were. LOL! When are you coming back up to visit? Your Uncle Jeff and I can't wait to see you again. We've got plenty of chores for you to do up here to help around the house. LOL! Just kidding Jim! How's your mother? I hope you're helping her out and being a good kid! But I have nothing to worry about, you're always a great kid! LOL! Hope all is well.